Anyway, I went for a drive this evening, filled with this urge to get out and deal with all the feelings churning inside. I didn't know exactly where I was heading. The beach maybe? The woods? Luckily I live near to both habitats. I just drove and followed my instincts.
As I drove slowly down a country lane I saw a hare peeking at me from behind a hedge - a hare! The Lady's creature! So I knew that was where I was meant to go. I parked on a little track between two fields, rolled down my window and watched through my binoculars, listening to a cascade of bird song. Having brought with me my notebook and pen, another way to get those unnamed feelings out into the air, I wrote the following:
A chilly but sunny June evening.
Two hares lope across the bare earth.
A cock pheasant pops his head up
out of the long grass.
All around the songs of birds:
Blackbird, Chaffinch, Pheasant, Wood Pigeon
and many more that I can't identify.
A hen pheasant disguises herself
as a clod of earth.
Two little birds fly over - Linnets perhaps?
If only I'd brought my bird book!
I came out with aches in my heart,
the need to weep,
the need to do something,
to get out,
to go somewhere.
And I followed my heart's leading -
and a big hint from a hare -
to this beautiful place.
A Goldfinch sips from a puddle just ahead.
Further off comes the crack
of a gun - hunting pheasants no doubt.
But, ah, they do not know
the bliss of this little haven.
And no-one to share with,
no-one to remember this with,
no-one to take out this photograph
from our memory
and say "Do you remember
that beautiful June evening..."
My Friend is gone.
He went a long time ago;
long, long before his body went
my Friend left me -
ran off with his Mistress*
who killed him.
has a splashy bath in the puddle.
A little moth
comes out to play.
And the world turns on and on.
someone is born;
A BARN OWL!
A BARN OWL!!!
Gliding silently by,
its supper gripped in its claws.
And another hare passes
so close I could almost touch it!
And these are my Father's gifts,
my Mother's comforts,
to kiss me
and help me through.
*alcohol, not a woman