To Elizabeth

Some thoughts on the eve of the feast of the birth of John the Baptist....

Were you anxious, Mother Elizabeth?
Barren all those years, yet now - miracle of miracles - pregnant!
At your age!
All those years of scorn and pity from the other women,
all those years of self-torment and self-blame:
"The scriptures say the good man will be blessed with many children,
so what have I done wrong?
Or is it my husband, Zechariah, who has sinned? 
Is God punishing us by withholding life?"
But, no, Elizabeth,
God has a very special job for you and your husband!
You are to give birth to the Messenger,
the Herald,
the Way-Preparer.
Your tiny son, kicking in your womb,
will bring the dawn of the new age,
a new covenant, between God and the world - 
yes, the world! - 
not just your own people, the people special to God,
but all peoples because, 
at last,
Israel is ready to learn that all peoples are God's.

So here you are, on the eve of the birth,
pacing around,
panting with pain,
coping with the pangs of the coming birth.
Are you afraid that your old body will not cope,
when even young women labour so?
Do you fear you may die in the process?
Yet, like all mothers-to-be, 
you probably feel it will be worth it,
that your own death doesn't matter,
as long as your child is born safe and well.

I wonder what Zechariah is feeling?
Mute, he cannot easily share his concern for you.
Tensely sitting with the other men,
left out of Women's Mysteries,
waiting for God's miracle to be born.

And what of your cousin, Mary?
She, too, carries a Miraculous Child -
one more amazing than anyone can imagine!
When she visited you in your sixth month
you felt the Quickening of life recognizing Life.
How you both rejoiced!
Has anyone thought to tell her and Joseph
that your child is on his way?
How glad she will be!
And how many questions she will have to ask
of what it is like to give birth!

Ah, Mother Elizabeth, bear with the pain,
for it will all be worth it 
when you hold your special child in your arms!
Rejoice, Mother Elizabeth,
rejoice!
For the herald of your Saviour
is soon to be born!

Image by Google search  http://www.bible-people.info/mother_and_son2.jpg

Let Your God Love You!

I have recently returned from an individual guided retreat at All Hallows Convent, Ditchingham. I have visited All Hallows a couple of times before, staying for a few days each time, joining the Sisters for worship and a midday meal. It is a place of peace and of welcome, and I felt at home there from the very first visit; indeed I wrote in my journal that I could hear God singing from the roof there, like a Chaffinch or a Robin!

We were greeted with tea and cakes, and with a beautiful little vase of wild flowers in our rooms. After tea, we maintained silence (except for worship, and for chats with our guides) until breakfast on the last day. It was tricky remembering to show the day to day civilities by gesture instead of in words, but  there was a real feel of Companions On The Journey Together with us retreatants. And, my goodness, did we make up for it with chat at that last breakfast!  ;-)

Each day we met our guides, talking together, sharing together and going away with Bible readings or other quotes to think upon. We then prayed, meditated or thought in silence; in our rooms, in the communal living room, with the baby bunnies and red-legged partridges in the gardens, or as we walked the beautiful country lanes around there. We read, we stitched, we knitted, we slept, and we just allowed God to reach us as He wanted to.

Sister Sheila was my retreat guide. At the first meeting, she gave me a poem/prayer that really hit deeply, so I thought I would share it here. I don't know who wrote it, but will gladly acknowledge the author if I ever find out! Here it is:

Be silent. Be still.

Alone: empty before your God.

Say nothing.

Ask nothing.

Be silent.

Be still.

Let your God look upon you.

That is all.

He knows.

He understands.

He loves you

with an enormous love!

He only wants

to look upon you

with his love.

Quiet.

Still be.

Let your God

love you!

Image from Google Images search http://www.care2.com/greenliving/its-official-meditation-cures-stress.html

My Jesus, my Jesus...

Have just been to see a local production of "Jesus Christ, Superstar" - need to express my feelings.


'My Jesus!
My Jesus!'
That's all I could think
as I watched them act out His story.
Took me by surprise, that "my" - really personal.
Hadn't realised how much I love Him!

I tend to pray more to the Father
than to a personal Jesus.
Yet this deep, deep feeling
erupted from within me,
burst out from my heart - 
"My Jesus! My Jesus!
They're hurting my Jesus!"

As the tears rolled down my face,
it changed to
"Oh God, oh God, oh God!"
Like an echo of Jesus'
"My God, my God, 
why have you forsaken me?"

When Peter touched 
the chained Jesus' hand,
begging His forgiveness for betraying Him,
how I wanted to touch Him too,
to tell Him how much I love Him.
My Jesus.
My Love.

I could turn this into a sermon
about touching Jesus' hand
in every act of love,
every person we reach out to;
but, right now,
all I want to do
is to kneel at His feet
and tell Him I love Him.

My Jesus, my Jesus,
my Love  x x x

Image via Google images, http://tammynischan.blogspot.co.uk/2010_10_01_archive.html

Mary Magdalene reflects

Happy Easter everyone!!

There have been some really moving services in my church this Holy Week and Easter Day. I have been truly humbled by God's presence there, and in the people present (who, after all, are the real church, not the building!). 

On the evening of Easter day, our curate, Zoe, read some pieces from "Reflective Services for Lent, Holy Week and Easter" by Nick Fawcett, and I was blown away! 

Anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy reading stories aloud - a legacy of over 25 years of teaching in Primary schools - and so I have tried to record one of the reflections for you. In this piece, Nick puts himself in the place of Mary Magdalene, about to tell the disciples the good news that Jesus is alive - if they'll believe her! (N.B. I had to turn the sound up fairly loud when I replayed it. I'll have to get advice from my technical brother on how to improve the sound quality!)

Image found by Google images search from https://www.lds.org/liahona/2003/06/jesus-is-risen?lang=eng

Talitha Koum! Get up, little girl!

Today's reading was the story of Jairus' daughter, in Mark 5:35-43. Jairus, the leader of the synagogue, an important man, is desperately worried about his daughter who is dying. He turns to Jesus for help. On the way there he is told it is too late, she has died. Jesus carries on regardless, turfs out all the weeping mourners, and chooses just 3 disciples and the child's parents to witness the miracle. 

What struck me today was all the little details included - the girl's age, the actual words Jesus uses, that He held her hand, and that he told the parents to give her something to eat. This is surely the memory of one who was present. I wonder who passed the story on - Peter? James? John? Or maybe the girl's parents? Can you picture them retelling it, from person to person, till it got written down?

I dwelt on the words Jesus used -Talitha Koum! - which means "Little girl, get up!" Can you hear the love in those words?

Get up, Little One!
God's got a job for you.
By your very living
you will proclaim God's healing power,
His loving care for his children.

Get up, Little One!
Show the world there is hope
when all seems lost.

Get up, Little One!
Show everyone that Death is not final,
that Love triumphs over all.

Get up, Little One!
And be my witness
to the world.

And, one day,
when you are old
and Death comes for you again,
I shall take your hand once more
and say "Get up, Little One!"
as your spirit joins mine for ever.

http://figurativeartlivingmasters.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/del-parson-1948-american/

Lectio Divina - Legion, the Gerasene

Lectio Divina - reading the Bible in a meditative way, imagining yourself there in that situation, looking for meaning.

The reading for this morning's daily prayers was the story of the man from Gerasa who is so filled with demons he calls himself 'Legion'. As I read it, tears filled my eyes. I understood some of his pain as I have had depression myself and witnessed my husband captive to his own fears. I needed to write what I felt, so I share it with you now....

That poor man;

A legion of conflicting voices

waging war in his head,

tearing him apart,

tossing his battered mind from one to another

like a precious object

thrown by malicious bullies,

while he stood by

helpless and weeping.

The pain he must have felt!

The agony of helplessness

that made him roar and rage,

beyond any man's help - 

how could they see

the war inside him?

How could they know how it felt,

when even cutting your body

to try to release the demons

seems your only help.

And then Jesus came-

Jesus!

Compassion shining in His eyes,

Hope radiating from His healing hands.

And at first the man was afraid.

How would it be to be free?

This terror was so awful,

but it was his terror,

familiar to him.

What - who -  would he be without it?

It had been so long now,

he couldn't remember 

what sanity was like.

And Jesus looked,

and He touched,

and He healed.

And suddenly the fear was gone.

Gone!

The weight was lifted!

The dark, rumbling clouds

replaced with blue sky and sunshine.

He could see again - 

truly see!

The distorted, haunted,

ghost-screaming world

replaced with beauty and love,

and hope!

Then he remembered who he was - 

a beloved Child of God,

wanted, 

protected, 

safe.

And as he wept at Jesus' feet, 

all the angels of heaven

wept and rejoiced with him.

He was Home at last.

Image from Google search 

http://iamthemindfire.deviantart.com/art/CONTENTMENT-176419114

True forgiveness

Most of us, even if we are not Christians, are aware of Jesus' words in Matthew 5:43-44
'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.'
 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,'
but we are seldom in a situation of real emnity to put this into practise. Yes, of course, we have our petty situations, such as work colleagues 'backstabbing' their way to promotion but, praise God, most of us in the West are not being actually persecuted.

I was perusing the Norwich cathedral website, with a view to taking a visit this week, when I came across this page showing the Chapel of Holy Innocents. Here, it says, 'prayers are said for victims of cruelty, persecution, and intolerance.' But just look at the prayer found at Ravensbruck concentration camp during the second world war:

O Lord, remember not only the men and women of good will but also those of ill will. But do not remember all the suffering they have inflicted upon us; remember the fruits we have bought, thanks to this suffering, our comradeship, our loyalty, our humility, the courage, the generosity, the greatness of heart which has grown out of this; and when they come to judgement, let all the fruits that we have borne be their forgiveness. Amen.’

Wow! Now that's what I call forgiveness!!! What a saint! But it made me think....I've been through some awful times these last few years due to my husband's descent into alcoholism (though not even on the same scale as the suffering of concentration camp detainees, of course) and I can certainly see positive things, 'fruits', in myself that have come from it, such as greater self-confidence and the boldness and daring to do things instead of shrinking from them. I don't know that I'm quite ready yet to say 'do not remember all the suffering they inflicted upon us', I still need to deal with the remnants of anger and resentment, but I can certainly thank God for the good that has come from it, and for the wonderful people in Al-Anon that He has used to bring this about. Forgiveness will come...